When we were young life was easier, right? I know sometimes it seems that way. But the truth is life still is easy. It always will be. The only difference is we’re older, and the older we get, the harder we make things for ourselves.
You see, when we were young we saw the world through simple, hopeful eyes. We knew what we wanted and we had no biases or concealed agendas. We liked people who smiled. We avoided people who frowned. We ate when we were hungry, drank when we were thirsty, and slept when we were tired.
As we grew older our minds became gradually disillusioned by negative external influences. At some point we began to hesitate and question our instincts. When a new obstacle or growing pain arose, we stumbled and fell down. This happened several times. Eventually we decided we didn’t want to fall again, but rather than solving the problem that caused us to fall, we avoided it all together.
As a result, we ate comfort food and drank alcohol to numb our wounds and fill our voids. We worked late nights on purpose to avoid unresolved conflicts at home. We started holding grudges, playing mind games, and subtly deceiving others and ourselves to get ahead. And when it didn’t work out, we lived above our means, used lies to cover up lies, and ate and drank some more just to make ourselves feel better again.
Over the course of time, we made our lives harder and harder, and we started losing touch with who we really are and what we really need.
If you’re nodding your head, here are some ways you’re likely making your life harder than it has to be, and some ideas on simplifying things:
1.You look to everyone else for the answers only you can give yourself. – For much of our lives – especially at the beginning – we get told what do, how to think, what looks good, what “success” is, etc. You don’t have to buy into any of it anymore.
Feel free to peel back the layers. Think for yourself. Listen to your Self. Break the mold. When you stop doing what everybody else wants you to do and start following your own intuition, you will find exactly what you are looking for.
2.You let others make you feel guilty for living your life. – As long as you’re not hurting anyone else, keep living your life YOUR way. Sometimes we get lost in trying to live for someone else, trying to meet their expectations, and doing things just to impress them.
Take a moment and think about it. Are you doing things because you truly believe in them? Remember your own goals. Live, do and love so that you are happy, because when it comes down to it, relationships can end in an instant, but you will live with yourself for the rest of your life.
3.You allow toxic people to get the best of you. – You don’t ever have to feel guilty about removing toxic people from your life. It doesn’t matter whether someone is a relative, romantic interest, colleague, childhood friend or a new acquaintance.
You don’t have to make room for people who cause you pain or make you feel small. It’s one thing if a person owns up to their behavior and makes an effort to change. But if a person disregards your feelings, ignores your boundaries and continues to treat you in a harmful way, they need to go.
4.You are part of the drama circle. – How would your life be different if you walked away from drama, gossip and verbal defamation? Let today be the day you speak only about the good you know of other people and encourage others to do the same.
Those that refuse to support you can be ignored by you. It’s as simple as that. Incredible things happen when you distance yourself from negativity and those who create it. Don’t get caught up in drama. Just walk on by.
5.You assign negative intent to other people’s actions. – Another driver cut you off in traffic. Your friend never texted you back. Your colleague went to lunch without you. Everyone can find a reason to be offended on a daily basis.
So what caused you to be offended? You assigned negative intent to these otherwise innocent actions. You took it as a personal insult – a slap in the face. Don’t do this to yourself. Don’t take things personally. Don’t assign negative intent to the unintentional actions of others. Let today be the day you look for the good in everyone you meet.
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