The more we enjoy personal relationships with those we have been told are ‘others’, the less likely we will be to judge. That path has been a way of life for me, and I imagine a lot of folks have a similar path, realizing that it is through relationships that we evolve and are able to serve the Divine. I’m going to tell you about my relationship with a young man who came to our door, and what happened with judgment.
A few days ago I told a friend, “I don’t think I’ve ever met a sociopath.” It’s interesting how I believed that I hadn’t met or dealt with a person in that state.
We’ve all encountered troubled souls; emotionally harmed people. The experience of taking young people in, dealing with their ‘games’ and their needs, and doing my best to help them, has been a part of my life school. I teach them and they teach me. Recently the school offered another lesson: I’ve given shelter for five months to a young man who is troubled so deeply that he just might fit the unfortunate description: Sociopath = someone who will play you like a fiddle.
Readers may remember that I mentioned, in a past article, how I was allowing a childhood friend of my son and godson to sleep on a cot in our home for a few days, as he was homeless. In the article I said a few words about his troubled life, and left it open, questioning how this will turn out.
Five months and many puzzling frustrations later, it took just one sentence for me to put the final pieces together. In a recent article, Soren Dreier wrote, “And I do not give sociopaths the benefit of doubt, since that is what they thrive on.” Boy did the light go on! I’ve been giving the benefit of doubt again and again as things come up missing… a few dollars, some change, a few more dollars, a phone, a billfold, a few pills out of a prescription bottle, a paycheck not arriving in the mail.
Our guest is a very personable, seemingly honest and earnest, subtly intimidating, able to ‘turn on the tears’ young man who asked for a place to sleep for a few days. At the request of my sons I accepted him. In these five months we have all learned a lot: he is so deeply into a ‘victim therefore entitled’ state of being that he has to go. A realization like that can be a long time coming for people who are reluctant to judge and willing to help.