We’re approaching Mother’s Day – another commercial holiday in the U.S. about which we can have mixed feelings. The marketing encourages everyone to give attention to their mom, and talk to her, spend money on her, or if she has left this physical plane, to think of her and miss her.
Mothers definitely don’t mind having a day when they can enjoy some attention, so it’s pretty much a given that a lot of flowers and greeting cards will be sold. That’s the way it works, and I’m no different. I like the attention, love flowers and dinner out, and I miss my Mom… can’t think of her voice calling my name without the eyes getting wet.
We go to mother when we are in emotional pain, and at a loss as to what to do. Her love is the balm, the safe haven – the place where another heart understands our pain, and helps to lift it off, sort it out, or endure it. It is within her nature to intuitively know when love is needed, and to respond to the need with just the right measure of love.
But mothers aren’t perfect in their response. They can be weakened by fear and undone by the responsibility; they can be overbearing and controlling, and they can sometimes be incapable of intimacy for one reason or another. My mother didn’t fail very often, and when she did, it was not from incapacity, but from conditioned fear. She was an imperfect woman who loved me, and I’m so fortunate that she was mine.
The mixed feelings at Mother’s Day come not so much from the materialism, but from the fact that a romantic ideal is floated, and real mothers can’t live up to that ideal. The marketing of ‘mother perfect’ just adds to the fear conditioning, making young mothers insecure, self-accusing, competitive, guilt-ridden consumers, tied to their children egotistically.
It dawned on me a few days ago that I’ve been a mother for 50 years! Raising babies is humbling. It definitely teaches you patience and hones your intuition. It tests and refines you day in and day out. I’d say that’s a spiritual journey par excellence. And that’s about all I can say: motherhood is a divine privilege that none of us qualifies for… and we do evolve with it!
So let’s look at this privilege and see how it manifests as divine.
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