In the hazy awareness between awake and asleep, an image comes front and center: it’s a thick, heavy, leather-bound book. It appears, I look at it, a hand closes the book, and I come awake. “What was that,” I wonder. It seems important. Something is finished… I wonder what.
Nine months ago, this past December, I began to Mother myself. It was an exercise in ‘I should’ removal. After a lifetime of seeking, intending to make myself a better person, wanting to evolve and understand, to heal through expanded consciousness, to serve through my personal labors, I decided to stop it. The critic within had worn me out.
Mother said: You – a spark of Divine Light – do not need any more fixing.
After so many decades of believing I had to fix me, it has been life-changing to realize that I don’t need to correct unwieldy thoughts and emotions. With quiet observation and love for the one who experiences it all… who feels it all… the turbulence always calms, and understanding comes freely, without having to be sought.
The book that I closed… maybe it was the book of judgment and self-correction. So many of us have been conditioned to see Divinity as the God the Father who sees imperfection and requires change. The belief that ‘you are not good enough as you are’ is strongly present still today, even in the consciousness or spiritual community.
A few weeks ago, while considering these things, I wrote this question: Would Creation condemn any of its children? No, that’s illogical. Creation… All that Is, in all dimensions, all vital, all ‘approved of’, no bad or good. Offered the incredible experience of life and breath, we come into form. If we have experienced enough of constriction and density, we focus our intention on refinement and liberation. And on that path we journey.
So, is father wrong and mother right? No, we need both the Pure and the Holy, both Truth and Love, in balance. Mother has been exiled from the throne, but she now returns as the heart and mind become One. It’s time for that marriage. Oneness begins within.
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