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The Gap Called Despair

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2016 has been very challenging for a lot of spiritually engaged people.

Some seem to have fallen into a gap that to them is quite unfamiliar. We all experiences gaps, in the journey ‘back home’. Back Home, as in the place we dwell when we feel our life has a meaning to it and we seem to know why and what we are here for. We cannot bypass these gaps simply because, as goes for a lot of issues, what we bypass – we do not walk through or confront.
Everything we bypass in this life, is still there for the next time around.

It is a very internal dynamic but is also obviously mirrored in our external life, the way we interact with this world.

There is a slight difference in the dynamics and it is a very important difference: There are some things, circumstances and people we do not need to confront or face because we are aware of the emotional hooks and in that awareness we do not get sucked in via the emotions. For example, if somebody wants to be aggressive with us we do not necessarily need to take the bait, since every time we give into that we get caught up in the dramas and control. They need a punching bag and we are, on the road home, very welcome to leave it be, turn away, or just address it without putting emotions into it.

When you become really good at this, they will start to label you as controlling or arrogant. Are you?

But, there seems to be one person we cannot turn away from, and that would be oneself. If we´re ever haunted by somebody, we are haunted by ourselves. What we bypass on the road to redemption will be fragments, themes, unfulfilled desires, karma; things that seem to be hidden very well in the burden basket we tend to call the signature of our ego’s struggling in and with this world.

We can escape most – but not what hides within, and what many thought they could suppress via  the ‘right’ spiritual approach, often formulated by someone else.
What is formulated by someone else can be good advice, but in order to integrate it we have to live it. Learning by doing is often not the same as learning by mirroring.

Our little eyes have seen a lot, and our little ears have heard a lot and our little soul is trying to contain it, transform it, walk through it, in order to cast it away for good. I strongly believe that in these years of ordeal for so many, our little souls have grown.

People are asking me now, while they are staring down the gap: Why am I here? What’s my mission in this life?

Here is the Secret of the Gap: The gap is constructed by ambition. And there’s nothing wrong with ambition.

Ambition is but a toning of desire and all in this world is desire driven.

I often say that spirituality is not a competitive sport, and people agree, but they do not look into their ambitions and are still very competitive in a field that not compatible with competition. Funny ei?

So, that gap of despair, which makes people so unhappy that they actually say to me that they do not want to spend one second more on this planet is constructed by: Your spiritual ambition combined with the state of the world that you inhabit. That can either be your private world and its qualities, or its perceived lack of qualities.

If that is your reality, use 2017 to roll up them sleeves and fix it. Just fix it.

Maybe you made some pretty thick spiritual bypasses and turned a blind eye to the fact that you’re up to your neck in weary. In this classic situation, the only thing that’s holding you back really is: fear. So, you bypassed fear, which we can do by upholding status quo, but status quo is an illusion.

There never is, never will be and never has been a Status Quo in your life. It’s impossible both in spirituality and in the dynamics of physics. Nothing ever stands still. Especially the grand illusion we call: Time.

And that’s what’s causing this low-key state of mind: The friction between what you see as time, either as an estimate of what time you think you have left in this life, or your vision and desire to be in a place where you feel that your life makes more sense to you.

Let me tell you this: Your life would make perfect sense if it wasn’t for your ambition. And it is a bit tricky since again since there is nothing wrong with ambition. But when confusion sets in between the power of the ego and a craving for the soul, it is time to lower that ambition.

As my favorite Tao says: In times of confusion, lower your ambition and go back to the source of the problem. And that exact source often is misunderstood overhyped spiritual ambition.

Mainstream café late New Age – won’t help you one bit. Ghoul fighting – won’t help you one bit. You need to reconnect with what you see as very ‘unspiritual problems’. You know: The Popular problems.

If I am not happy in my relationship – I need to get out of it.

If I think I can’t meditate and project myself straight into the Aluna (Mirror World), then it’s time to just: Meditate.

If I´m not psychic enough (yes I actually heard that complaint).

In order to breach that Gap that’s dragging you down, you need to lower those ambitions and start confronting your skills as a spiritual being having experiences as a human. Time to fumble a bit round and fix 3D maybe?

I really think I should change my name to Constant Misery.

This is the crossroad:

Am I a human trying for spirituality?
or
Am I a spiritual being trying for human.

I´d put my money on the last.

The Gap is there also because we often forget that it is so. And because it is so, we do not need to be perfect. We do not need people to hype us up after we are gone, like we see with Stuart Wilde. We were here, we made an impact, and then we´re back home again. Deal with it.

If your ambition is to be a World Teacher, to leave your impact and have people worship you when you’re long gone (= ego, ego, ego), you’ll have to leave that behind at the moment of departure. All of that nonsense really is nonsense.

I was once asked in a radio talk what I wanted to be remembered as. I answered, that if my two kids thought they had had a cool dad, that would be it. I still mean that.

People don’t seem to be happy with my answering them: The meaning of your life? Well, you are here to: Live your life as you please.

Maybe have kids, and the meaning of your life will be to be there for them. If you are with a partner – be a good partner, be human. If you are a policeman, be a human one. If you are working, do your job well. If you’re ‘super-spiritual’ be humane about it, stop gossiping, stop externalizing your inner shadow and stop blaming the Ghouls or whatever you do to bypass walking through what seems to prevent you from fulfilling your desires for yourself in this life.

Get real.

Use inspirational figures as Inspiration and do not ever just follow blindly or copy their life.

We often think of the Soul inside as a one dimensional being full of peace and bliss. That is one of the biggest New Age Deceptions and it is there also to prevent us from seeing that we actually already reached it, maybe not fully, but we are beginning to know it.

Why? Because not two souls on this planet are alike!

Souls have anger, souls have despair, souls suffer and so on.

The difference between ego hurt and soul hurt is, as you have probably experienced, the ego hurt is quite fast to snap out of – easy to fix, adjust some stuff and things will be okay. When the soul hurts, its deeper isn’t it….

I mean: That shit really hurts. And it takes time. When it does that, it is time to rethink or better re-feel the question – what is the soul really?

The New Age billboard that looks like Bora-Bora with a Pina Colada and eternal sunsets – is it that? Sometimes, yes it is. But it is also looking into the inferno, the Alchemy, the melting pot of trying to manifest ‘Sacred’ inside untouched by the commotion of the External World.

The internal pathway from Solar Plexus to Heart.

Before we go there maybe try to manifest yourself in the best possible way. Slay some external dragons when they pop up. But more importantly, lay down your burden basket, look at and into the pebbles collected through endless time, and transform them.

If you can’t do that, at least take responsibility for them and do not lay them on somebody else.

If you can’t do that, accept them.

And you will see that the Gap wasn’t really there. The only gap there is really is our perception of where we are spiritually, and our ambitions, and the idea of the Soul.

Maybe you are trying for something that’s already found you.

None of us is bloody perfect expect for one group: The Spiritual Delusional.

Let 2017 be the year of Real.

©2016 Soren Dreier – Feel free to share this post with link back.