About a year ago, I moved from the Campo (countryside) to this small seaside town.
The house I rented is 3 minutes from the sea and 10 minutes from the town center. Optimal. It is a semi detached house in a row of houses on a small and narrow street.
It has been fairly quiet during the winter – now it is not.
The Brits are down for the summer with their little dogs. That is of course Okay if it weren’t for the fact that the Brits set out round 9 in the morning for their ‘wine-o´clock’.
First time I heard that expression I thought, really? But its a fact. Burb.
People can drink all the want – I don’t care.
The problem is, that when they go they leave their little hyped up hysterical this-is-my- territory-high-piched dog behind, with the doors open to their roof terrace, one in front of their house and one in the back. The dogs run back and forth, barking for 5-6 hours…… (visions of an AK47 often sets in).
Earsplittenlaudenboomer, all over.
So: What to do?
Experience shows that bringing forth some kind of request only makes the Brits feel more entitled. That is often a no-go. I went for: Learning By Doing.
I decided to record the dog that starts this heavy metal dog concerto.
The Puppet master. The not so hidden stealth hand in this silence conspiracy. The Soros of Dogs.
I took a walk and had an hour of recording.
Around the time I knew the Brits got a bit tired from sitting a the cafe (they usually come home to rest around 2 in the afternoon) taking the dog inside, I started playing the recording full throttle….which obviously upset their dog… and the Brits, The woman came out on her balcony saying:
– John, who´s dog is that?
And ‘John’ got up, out on the balcony too:
– Don’t know ( he really didn’t care )
Woman: People are so inconsiderate, it is siesta time. I cant sleep, Jooohn….
John – Not much I can do.
Woman – Ohh, your such a wanker, John.
Then they went for a second try and the woman came out again, shouting:
– Could you please take your dog inside, we are some who like a rest! I can’t see it Joooohn.
But no, I didn’t turn in off. And she gave up her rest – hope that ‘John’ got his. He sure needs it!
Friday I went to the real estate office to pay my rent and the agent said:’
You don’t have a dog do you? We had some complaints that a dog is barking from your house – do you have it inside?’
No, I don’t have a dog, I´m allergic – but now that you mention it yes – there is a lot of barking all day – me dink its the Brits.
No, she said. They are the ones complaining.
Well, that is a bit odd- think they have a dog….
Its all very quiet now.