Being Too Nice Makes Your Life Miserable

April 26, 2016

Are you too considerate, too kind, too selfless, and too often bow, just to please others? Don’t pat yourself on your back for being an awesomely amazing human being…You are hurting yourself, andyou are at risk of depression.

Polish-born Elzbieta Pettingill, a former fashion model and author, shares her experience with battling depression and tells you why, and how, you must start to love yourself…NOW.

STOP Living Someone Else’s Life

When you are always pleasant, happy, positive, smart, adjusting, caring, scared to speak your mind, change your personality unwillingly, hide your emotions, and unwittingly follow your friends/family’s diktats rather than your heart –  you are living their life, not yours. STOP trying to live up to everyone’s expectations. Stop worrying so much about what others are thinking about you: if ‘others’ care about you, they will love and accept you exactly for the way you are.

Lao Tzu, an ancient Chinese philosopher, famously said: “Care about what other people think and you will always be their prisoner.”

“I wasn’t myself. I wasn’t who I am. I was a “slave” to anyone who was willing to have me in their life. The fear of rejection always steered my thoughts into the direction that led others to benefit from it more than I did. How tiring was that!? How exhausting it is having to constantly put others before your own self! And how little reward you get at the end of it…”

Do Things Because You Care – For Yourself

Don’t do things because everyone expects you to. Do things because you know they are right.  Stop spending all of your time on taking care of people who are important to you, or who can be important in future. This need to please and care for others is deeply rooted in a fear of rejection. Fear of rejection is the underlying feeling that: “If I don’t do everything I can to make this person happy they might leave or stop caring for me.”  When you please others to avoid being criticized, rejected or punished, you lose self worth, which can wreak havoc in your life.

“What do you do when the inevitable happens and when they leave? You blame yourself, of course. Consciously, or subconsciously, your already low self-esteem gets reinforced. It spirals downward in a lightning speed and you get even more depressed, thinking that there is no tomorrow for you…”

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