Stress is basically frustrated energy running amok.
Our attention goes in multiple directions at the same time – we should, we could … and what about this and that … we also should, could…Society has ADHD, we don’t. It has many smitten – it is a powerfull virus.
Tech Stress – Instant Messaging.
Why “Instant?” Why not just “Messaging?” It doesn’t have to be instant. But it is a term well chosen by Big Tech.
They could have called it: “Convenient Texting”, but that doesn’t trigger our stress hormones.
We answer instantly on account of fear of the one messaging. Since if we do not answer instantly, they might think that you are angry, disappointed, don’t think they are valuable, and such. So that leads to a pile of assumptions and emotional insecurity.
Do not go into that narrative – it’s not important. It’s people putting low frequency emotions into a device most carry on them or within an arm’s length. God forbid it’s further away than that or anxiety comes knocking.
Practice: Set a specific time during the day or specific times per day for when you answer. It will give you a detox and a break from being on constant alert. Which most don’t know they are, it became part of the norm.
“What if somebody has died or something terrible has happened?” Well, that’s no message to text anyway, at least make a phone call. Before cell phones, which morphed into entertainment machines, we would get the news anyway and would still manage to make it to the delivery room or the funeral. No worries, the only loop you’re out of is Stress.
All these alerts come at a time when you are focused on something else, and will take the focus or undistorted attention away.
That’s why most stuff gets half-baked and you have to search for your train of thought that derailed.
On another note, Emojis – I really don’t dig them. They are stealing our emotional language. It’s so much easier to send a heart emoji instead of saying, “I really love you,” or, “I really like you.” One can send a heart emoji to an aunt and to your most intimate partner, even though the depth of love hopefully is a bit different.
Have you noticed that emojis cover emotional uncertainty and often is a double bind or a meta message (double meaning)?
“I really don’t like what you did there, Heart Emoji”
It supposedly translates into, “But I still love you.”
Emoji, comes from emo-tion. Give me the words, not a bunch of yellow pixels.
Even weirder is, “I really don’t like you, Heart Emoji”
Sorry, I can’t translate that. The death of straight shooters.
I often get email, packed with emojis. I don’t understand them.
When we get an email our focus should be on the words rather than getting sucked into reinforcing them or distorting them with little yellow pixels.
Try this for a day, then for a week, then for a month, then for a year.
Do one thing and one thing only at a time:
-If you smoke, find a place to smoke your cigarette, pipe, or cigar. Then only smoke it there. Make it a habit. Fall into contemplation, which smoking is good for.
Do not smoke while you’re working, doing tasks, walking, and so on. It is stress smoking and then one rarely enjoys the pleasure of smoking.
If you feel a cup of coffee or a Jack Daniels alongside smoking increases the pleasure, please have one.
The point is: Make it a ritual and make a ritual place for it. Consider it a sacred space.
Upside: If you smoke too much, you will smoke less.
All the stress smoking will go away.
(If you do not smoke, you can apply the smoking ritual into other daily doings)
-Eat at the same place in your home every day and only enjoy your food there. Consider it a sacred space.
Don’t multitask and watch TV, whether it be the news or a good TV show. You will also eat the emotions you experience when watching it. If they are violent and toxic, it will impact how we process the food.
Food should be eaten in a stress-free environment, or it will give you stress and be poorly digested.
If you are with your beloved or a family member, re-learn conversation.
If you are with the kids, never bring up issues when eating, such as, “Why don’t you ever do your homework?” or, “Shouldn’t you wash your hair?” etc.
Eating is a zone of trust, tranquility, and taste.
Eating is nourishing each other.
The Yoga Sutra says: Food should be prepared by a happy chef. Because the energy of the state we are in while cooking goes into the food.
Upside: If you are unhappy about your weight and think you eat too much, you will slim down. All the comfort eating will go away.
When making love, stay in your body and feel the emotions it stirs up. Avoid thinking.
Thinking makes it calculating, or you may wonder, “Am I good enough?” or, “Is she/he pleased?”
When you stay in your body, you will learn to trust that you can sense where your partner is and, indeed, yourself.
A lot of people check their phones during sex. Ya, I sure feel special, honey… But, of course, you can send me a heart emoji during the act. Just so I know that you are invested. Jesus…
-Driving – Only drive and you won’t get killed.
-Music/Radio/TV – Turn it off.
Do not use them as a background for your daily activities unless you make a conscious decision of what you’re going to listen to. You can’t do that with the TV, since it wants your eyes present. You can’t do it with the radio, since all the frustrated energy coming from the good news, bad news, sad news, and buy this stuff will enter your subconscious and stick there. A trick well-known to advertising. The concept of programming comes out of programs.
Some people love music as a background for their activities. It’s okay – but make a conscious choice.
The list is long and so would this post be if I gave you 25 more examples.
The important thing is: One thing at a time. Find a new routine. Make a ritual out of all the different aspects of the day.
When we can do that, we can give it some slack.
I haven’t given it some slack, though, since I discovered that I couldn’t hold on to my Inner Calm. Situations that require attention, such as a child needing help, your beloved, and such, will and should call for you attention, but there are rules of engagement and the people with access beyond that can’t break them.
That does not mean that these people are less important or significant in my life or to it.
I will engage when I know they can have my full attention and not half of it.
Think before all the tech stress – it was called RESPECT.
And the emoji people go, “You don’t like me.” The answer is, “I don’t know you that well yet, but don’t wave off the possibility.”
I remember an interview I watched on TV with a Tibetan after the Chinese occupation (Liberation of Tibet they called it) answering to this question,
“What is it like to have the Chinese in Lhasa suddenly?”
She said, “I don’t like it – they have stolen our silence.”
The Chinese had put up loudspeakers within the Tibetan towns, playing patriotic songs while telling them how great the Communist Party is.
Find that Silence within, shut down the propaganda, and do One thing at its Right Time. Time is on your side – do not outsource it on the account of not living up to everybody’s misguided expectations, which are basically fear based.
You will actually see that you, yourself, got caught up in all this due to a fear of not caring.
Now, you can care on a deeper level, within your own time.
Emotional Stress: Be gone.
Do not blame yourself if you “fail” – “failure” is only the faithful companion of practicing.
It is our excuse for abandoning our self-discipline that we need to examine.
© 2020 Soren Dreier
Soren Dreier – Services