Relationships for the Emotionally Intense and Sensitive

September 4, 2019

From the get-go, intense and sensitive people feel the world on a different vibration. They maybe they are ‘too intense’, ‘too extreme’, ‘too much’, ‘too sensitive’ all their lives.

Intense people are fierce and passionate lovers. However, they face specific challenges due to their heightened sensitivity, speed of operation, and high level of intuition.

If you are emotionally intense and sensitive, here are some obstacles you may face in intimate relationships or the lack of them.

You are easily bored

As compared to the rest of the world, you move fast. You process and absorb a large amount of information in an instant, and while it takes most a while to process their own emotions, you pick things up and feel things at the speed of light. As a result, you are ‘out of sync’ with the world.

It is not anyone’s fault, but the predicament sets you up for irritability, impatience, and misunderstanding from others. Most emotionally intense people are also highly intelligent and intellectually rigorous. Combining this with the depth of your feelings, it is difficult for you to find someone with whom you are both romantically and intellectually compatible.

You are enthusiastic about learning new things and are curious about the mysteries of the world. In contrast, your partner may be content with the ‘known’. You are eager in your search for life’s meaning and yearn to explore the world — physically, psychologically intellectually, spiritually, visually and sensually. If your partner is not as rigorous, or excitable as you are, and have little understanding of your yearnings, you may feel under-stimulated and trapped in a two-people world.

Since you are highly imaginative and energetic, you bring ideas and inspirations into the relationship, but your partner may not have the capacity to reciprocate.

You may try to fill the gap with friends and other exchanges, but you may also see other couples who seem entirely in-sync and feel sad about the gap in your life. When the boredom overrides any sense of affection, it is a warning sign the something needs to change. Because it is in your nature to learn and grow continuously, you find yourself outgrowing people rapidly.

You don’t enjoy couple activities as much as other things.

As an intense person, you are imaginative and have a rich inner life. You have a wide range of interest from art to music to politics. When you fall in love with a hobby, a project or an idea, your brain doesn’t stop. For others who do not function in the same way, you may be ‘obsessive’, excessive, or unhealthy. To you, however, nothing is more painful than knowing time is slipping by, and you are not making the most of it. Inside you have always known you have the potential to achieve something great, and the clock is ticking.

You are highly reflective, and whether you are an introvert or an extrovert, you need time to yourself to gather energy and creativity. Your partner may not understand your desire for alone time, and they feel left out.

When you are in a relationship, there are social expectations you need to meet — how much time you spend and what you do together. You may find yourself saying yes to doing things you would not otherwise agree to do. For example, you find yourself thinking about work when you are stuck in a movie theatre or a party with small talks.

Your partner does not understand your sensitivities and needs.

Emotionally sensitive people also have physical sensitivities — you get jumpy with loud noises, dislike too many sensory inputs. When you are bombarded with stimuli but not the right kind, your body reacts with allergies, migraines, pain, and fatigue.

What excites your partner may be aggravating for you — the roller coaster, the loud music, the constant background noise, humor from bringing people down, overpowering perfume. If those around you do not honor your sensitivity, you may be criticized for being ‘too much’, ‘too dramatic’, ‘too difficult’, and so on.

It is important that you understand your nature, and do not judge yourself for your idiosyncrasy. Your needs are legitimate, though it may take clear and assertive communication to make things work in a partnership.

You pick up on every emotion and nuance.

You are highly intuitive towards subtle changes in people’s emotions.

With your sensitivity comes intuition. You are highly perceptive and can pick up all the social nuances and small changes in human dynamics. Your gut feeling is especially amplified in the context of a close relationship. When your partner is dishonest, you have a sense of it. When they are upset or angry, you know it even before they do. Due to your hyper-empathic tendency, you ‘absorb’ whatever they feel, or even feel feelings for them. Being the more emotionally aware one, you may always have to be the one who initiates meaningful conversations or address issues in the relationship.

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