Stuck in Self Loathing?

March 8, 2019

If we think we did the work on the ego shadows, we are in for a treat when we learn that the soul has even more potent versions to bring to the table.

‘Soul’ – is neither a fixed entity nor the final destination in itself. This is often forgotten when we speak of reaching our souls with a light of rapture in our eyes. When we have soulful breakthrough experiences, we certainly light up and may think: all is fine and dandy. Until the next destination is clear to us.
The story of Jesus, the Sage, and the Mystic – should well account for that along with many others.

It is also a system of communication. In this loop of communication, the soul transcends the ego, and the ego teaches the soul by going about the thin Ice of Mundane Life. That is, of course, the higher realms of the Ego.

That is the inner dialogue not to be mistaken for the inner monologue, which is the ego going into an extorting loop of ‘getting stuck’ in itself.

The inner dialogue is the soul being in telepathic contact with the ego as we awake and come to our senses with suggestions of self improvement, thriving, and longing for that healing place of tranquility, peace, and beauty that we have inside ourselves.

Many see their ego as their enemy. Perhaps the Collective Egon would be better to point at, since our pain starts when we disengage that in what is known to us as waking up. Collective systems of Belief, the Laws, Family, Friends…
As mentioned – the Ego also teaches the soul until it runs out of 3D fuel – many forget that.
When 3D has nothing more to offer, we become world weary and start to detach that 3D thing we thought was real. There’s no 3D fuel left for the pilgrims, so it has to go into the framework of the soul. We detach from ‘Maya’ (Sanskrit for Illusion). And we wise up and come to our higher senses.

The last thing we want to do in that process is to alienate ourselves into self loathing but many do: They proclaim themselves as the enemy. It’s self-destructive and it surfs on the wave of self-loathing, where losing our balance can send us spiraling down into the ‘Big Fall Inside.’ At this point, we do not know who we are anymore, and we basically become trapped in limbo where we start to second-guess ourselves.

‘Maybe we are to blame,’ ‘Maybe we brought this on ourselves,’  ‘Is the debris from old biblical programming still floating around in our emotional nervous system?’ There’s a need for finger pointing and feel guilty as in self-guilt.

We know to some point what we are up against on the inside, but we rarely foresee the struggle with the outside, the Collective Ego, either in family, spiritual tribes, and whatnot.
It is sad to behold that Spiritual Tribes really are very, very skilled in manifesting a collective ego that feels threatened as soon as it is challenged. It becomes so obvious that it’s a cruel joke in its essence to speak of: Love, Respect, and Oneness in such surroundings.

The answer to any renegade soul wanting out should be: ‘Cool, you have learned what you came for, now go and pursue your path. Bon Voyage!’
Instead, they come down hard on you and tell you to fear your need for freedom, and start to cast spells on you and sacrifice chickens to curse you! (Yes, a concrete example.)
If you have been sucked into that sticky ghoulish stuff – Rise and Shine and Walk Away with a pounding heart.

Embrace your freedom-craving soul with love.

Perhaps an improvement list is much needed. I won’t be the judge of that, but seeing oneself as the spiritual enemy inside the gym of the ‘pumping spiritual iron’ movement… well… it won’t get anybody bloody anywhere – as probably intended.

The soul takes on the finest qualities of the ego’s experiences, and the scent of our soul will determine what is most suitable for it: None of the qualities I have mentioned holds any contradictions if we understand the soul as ‘Our Divinity’ or at least the doorway to it!

If we think they have, it might be time for a re-evaluation, since we want to move on, and not be stigmatized by the concept of: ‘My Ego’ is a burden and not being seduced by the concept of a trouble free soul. Souls struggle. Period.

The ego is to be gently purged via the processes of detachment and it goes within that – that none of us can rip off the ego like a Band-Aid in one swift movement. That stings. Could be cool – but it will not happen.
No, removing the Band-Aid has to be a process over time, and that also hurts as we slowly get rid of it.

The gift is seeing that the wound has healed, whatever it was, and that is the gift that will reveal itself.

Our take on those mechanics will define our freedom and if we think that we are harboring entities that keep us in servitude and prison, well, we bought into the Matrix mechanic of us being our own worst problem.

There’s a good market out there, which seems to fail to see the difference between self loathing and critical mass.
Self Loathing is Critical Mass gone rouge, dark. It serves no purpose, surfing all too close to self hatred in a vortex where people are trying to find some self love or at least self acceptance.
Critical mass is when we’re tired of our patterns, our actions, our self deception, specific aspects of our ego, and when we reach it in a positive state – we change, because it is the only balanced way to live with ourselves.

We have come this far – We are okay.

We need to say: ‘No, I´m not my own worst enemy here – I´m my very best friend’ – and use the impact of that towards empowerment and not being tied up in a Matrix confined space of our ‘little annoying Ego.’

The quality of your Ego, the spices in your Soul, and the wisdom of your Spirit have been with you all along them days.

Let them merge, transcend, and put up battles – It is all good and we are way better off than we might think we are.

© 2019 Soren Dreier

Soren Dreier: Readings – Healings – Guidance

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